I'm Not Supposed to Be Here (But I'm Glad I Am)

I remember it as if it was almost yesterday. It was the last week in November 2014 when I got the phone call from the specialist. And he told me what my primary care doctor and I had suspected. I had been diagnosed with cancer.

I wasn't surprised. Some of you know me, and you know the genetic hand I was dealt: just about all the women on the maternal side of my family got similar diagnoses, and all of them had succumbed to the disease. I can still remember watching my mother's battle with cancer. She had told me many times about her own mother, the grandmother I never met, who died at only 44 years old. My mother was just 71 when she passed, and from that day on, I dreaded what the future might hold for me.

I was 67 when I got the phone call. And thanks to early detection, I was able to have my surgery on this day (December 17) in 2014. Interestingly, I had an all-female staff working on my case: the oncologist was a woman, the anesthesiologist was a woman, as were all the nurses and the nurse practitioners. I grew up in an era when women were still discouraged from becoming doctors, and I had to admit that it made me smile to note how much society had changed. 

After the surgery, I had a month of radiation (no fun, but better than the alternative), and then, I had to come back to the hospital for regular tests, to make sure the cancer had not returned. Gradually, the testing regimen dwindled from every few months to once a year; and after 5 years, I was told that the odds of a recurrence were very low. But that hasn't stopped me from worrying-- cancer is a relentless foe, and it can make a return when one least expects it. 

But today is not a day for worrying. Today is my 9th anniversary of being cancer-free. I am deeply grateful to the excellent medical team that took care of me, and even on my worst day, I am grateful to be alive. I am also mindful of the many others in my family who are gone, as well as my friends and colleagues who have endured their own cancer diagnosis. Some of you who are reading this blog may be going through it yourself.

The good news is that there have been so many advances in cancer treatment. So many people, myself included, are living proof of that. We are still here, when previous generations had little hope of survival. On the other hand, we all know people whose type of cancer did not have that good outcome. In their memory, I hope you will make a donation to the hospital of your choice, so that researchers can continue to seek (and, hopefully, find) new cures. 

And for those who are going through what I did, please know you are not alone. Please know there is hope, and more people than in any previous generation are winning the fight. For me, it's my nine year anniversary of being cancer-free, and for however many more years God gives me, I will continue to be grateful. And I will continue to hope that one day, everyone with a cancer diagnosis will be able to survive and thrive... as I have.