Friday, May 31, 2019

In Search of Someone to Blame

I have a friend who sincerely believes our current problems all began when the Supreme Court got rid of mandatory school prayer back in 1962.  That's not how I remember it: my recollection is that despite the prayers, some kids still got into trouble. Agreed, it was a more formal culture, so being rude to a teacher or getting in a fight during recess had consequences.  But the fact that people began the school day with a Bible reading didn't guarantee that kids would turn out to be saintly.  In fact, as I recall, there were plenty of so-called "juvenile delinquents," and plenty of "experts" trying to figure out how supposedly good kids went astray.

The most common explanations back then were either bad parenting or falling in with bad company. Parents who didn't set the proper example were supposedly to blame for having bad kids. And kids who hung around with troublemakers tended to become troublemakers themselves.  And if the parents had done all the right things but their kid still turned out wrong? Well, then, it must be too much television. Or too much radio.  Or too much rock and roll music.There just had to be a simple answer. There just had to be one cause, and finding it seemed to make people feel better.

When I was in college in the 60s, I noticed the same reactions whenever serious crimes were committed:  he (it was usually a he) must have had bad parents. He must have grown up in a godless home. He must have hung around with bad people. He must have been influenced by the media. And when all the other explanations didn't work, there were always stereotypes that could be applied to certain folks:  "Well, what you can you expect from someone who was raised in that neighborhood?" Or, "That's so typical of those people." Again, the need to find a simple answer, even if the problem was complex.

Fast forward to 2019.  Yesterday, a lone gunman murdered twelve people in the place where he worked in Virginia. He was described by police as "disgruntled."  I've sometimes felt disgruntled, but it never led to me to believe that shooting my co-workers would make me feel any better. When I was growing up, people were disgruntled too, but it seems everyone is angrier now than they were back then.  However, in the 60s, when people got angry, there were fewer ways they could take it out on a large group of people. Guns weren't as widely available, and there were no social media platforms yet.

But this isn't a blog post about guns (although it certainly could be, on any given day); nor is it about the impact of social media on our culture (I've blogged about that before).  It would be easy to say "it's all because of guns," or "it's all because of social media."  Agreed, both can be factors, but they don't explain why so many people seem to feel so aggrieved so much of the time; or why they automatically want to blame someone whenever there's a problem.  Instead of trying to seek out solutions, I keep seeing people seek out some person or group they can point the finger at and say, "This is all your fault."

As if finding the right reason for the problem makes it go away... which it never does.  Yet just like back in the 50s and 60s, many "experts" are offering the same old answers; except now they can tweet them out instead of just talking with a few like-minded friends.  Some people insist we need a return to traditional religion; or they say there's a lack of good parenting; or we need more armed guards in schools and public buildings; or there's just too many immigrants; or there are too many kids playing violent video games; or there are too few kids who have good manners (I admit I'm guilty of complaining about that one myself).

Some people say our problems are political:  When Barack Obama was president, Republicans said everything bad was his fault. Now that Donald Trump is president, Democrats say our problems are all because of him.  Social media has exacerbated the tendency to finger-point and then go on to the next thing, having done nothing to fix (or even address) the problem other than complain.  As recently as yesterday, I wondered on Twitter why "send death threats" seems to be the default position for all too many people, when confronted with an idea or a policy or a person they dislike.

I wish there were one simple answer to every problem we face, but there rarely is.  Meanwhile, I find that writing these blog posts can be a great catharsis. I know I don't have millions of readers, but that's okay.  When I blog, it forces me to sit and think carefully about what I want to say, rather than just blurting out on social media whatever emotion comes to mind.  I'm told that blogging is becoming passé, but I still enjoy doing it. In fact, in these angry times, I'd rather see people doing more blogging and less blaming... it might be one small step towards having a more thoughtful society. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

In a Country Where They Turned Back Time

There are a few things I miss about growing up in the 50s and early 60s. For one, it was a more polite culture:  people said 'please' and 'thank you,' and cursing in public would have been out of the question.  AM radio was still king, and it still played the hits; it seemed like every kid I knew had a transistor radio. Late at night, when I was supposed to be asleep, I'd be in bed listening to distant stations (sometimes music, sometimes a baseball game).  Things seemed simpler back then: kids played outside after school, and parents didn't worry.  There were some amazing TV shows, and families watched them together. Going to the movies was still affordable, and movies didn't have graphic violence or bad language.   

But there are also plenty of things I don't miss about that era.  For one, girls didn't have many career options. As most of you know, from the time I was a kid, I wanted to be in radio, but I was told girls couldn't do that. I also wanted to be a sportswriter, but I was told girls couldn't do that either. (And don't even ask how people reacted when I said I didn't want to marry young and have kids...) 

Some people were much more open about their prejudices back then.  For example, I was told not to act "too Jewish," whatever that meant, and I was constantly reminded that we lived in a majority-Christian country. Ethnic jokes (and ethnic stereotypes) were common, and employers could come right out and say they didn't hire any Jews or blacks or women or whoever else.  And of course, if you were a member of a minority group, you were expected to know your place and not challenge the status quo.

In many states, even married couples had trouble getting birth control (some states required a doctor's prescription, as I recall).  Living together before marriage was considered shameful, and if a girl got pregnant without being married, she was the one who was blamed, because the common wisdom said men couldn't control themselves-- it was up to the girl to make sure her boyfriend behaved. And if you were gay, you were considered a deviant; few people thought you deserved any rights at all.

What brought all this to mind was what happened in Alabama on Wednesday-- that state's ultra-conservative legislature passed an anti-abortion bill that is so punitive and restrictive (not even an exception for rape or incest, doctors could be sent to prison for performing the procedure, etc) it reminded me of the 1950s. In fact, all across the country, conservative legislatures are trying to make it not only more difficult to terminate a pregnancy; they're also trying to make it more difficult to get birth control. I have to keep reminding myself it's 2019.

I'm also seeing a resurgence of other things I thought were relics of a bygone era: all over the country (and in Europe too), there has been a rise in antisemitism. Some people think it's okay to express their prejudices openly again, and it seems bigotry and xenophobia are back in fashion. It also seems some folks want a return to traditional gender roles, as well as a return to treating gay people, immigrants, and certain ethnic groups with contempt. And no offense to Christian conservatives, but some of them seem to believe they now have a right to impose their religious beliefs upon the rest of society-- just like they did when I was growing up.

It has me very concerned. Having lived through it already, I'm not eager to live through it a second time.  But that's where some folks seem to want us to go-- back to the worst of the 1950s-- old gender roles, old prejudices, old hierarchies, old norms, a world where a powerful majority rules and those who disagree are just expected to be silent.  I understand that abortion or birth control or gender roles or religion can be contentious subjects, and we may not always agree. But what worries me is seeing the erosion of the separation of church and state. What worries me is seeing politicians and members of the clergy deciding which rights I can have. And what worries me the most is the number of people who think the answer to our problems is to recreate their ideal version of the past, rather than grappling with how to create a better future for us all.