It's Hard to Believe (some thoughts about 2025)

I've always felt differently about New Year's Eve than many other people do. In some ways, I see it as just another day of the year-- probably the result of my deejay days, when my colleagues, who knew I didn't drink, asked me to work the late night shift so that they could go out and party. So, I sat in the studio and entertained the audience; I took requests and dedications, and I talked to listeners who were feeling alone. I've felt alone on New Year's Eve many times over the years, but gradually, I came to realize that being alone wasn't the worst thing in the world. These days, I hang out at home with my husband, drinking hot chocolate and watching old movies. (There used to be a local station that had a Three Stooges marathon, but that's long gone. So, old movies and classic TV shows are fine.) 

For me, New Year's Eve is a time for introspection, a time to reflect on what was good about the past year and what was not. And let's be honest: for many of us, 2025 had more bad stuff than good stuff. Living in a Blue state, we had to endure endless verbal attacks (some unbelievably crude and vulgar) from the president. We also had to endure some arbitrary and vindictive actions, like his decision to cancel grants for medical research (as a cancer survivor, this really hit home-- my life was saved by the results of medical research; this used to be a non-partisan issue, but in 2025, everything was partisan, and states that didn't vote for him felt the brunt of it). 

As a historian, it was difficult to watch this president suddenly bulldoze the East Wing of the White House without any permission, destroying history just because he wanted to build an elaborate ballroom (for decades, that was where First Ladies had their offices, and many dignitaries held meetings there... and now, it's all gone). 

My sister lost her job thanks to this administration's alliance with Elon and DOGE. My sister was among the many hardworking government workers who worked for both Democrats and Republicans. But she was fired for no reason and with little warning. Lots of government workers were fired for no reason and with little warning. Today, you can barely get a hold of anyone at Social Security, or the Veterans Administration, or numerous other key agencies. I'm not sure what the purpose of firing all those people was, but it hurt a lot of innocent folks-- both those who were fired and those who rely upon those government agencies.

Don't get me started about the pardons, the lack of respect for the rule of law, the cruelty towards immigrants, the hostile takeover of much of the mainstream media, the failure to help Ukraine, the gutting of foreign aid (leaving desperate people in third world countries to fend for themselves, and in some cases, to go without much needed medicine). And while I'm glad that millions of Americans marched and protested peacefully at "No Kings" Rallies, I'd be even gladder if such protests weren't necessary.

But like most years, there were moments of joy-- many Rush fans were both surprised and delighted to hear that the band was reuniting, and it was a privilege for me to be there when the announcement was made. I celebrated my 11th year cancer free; and while I haven't been able to find a full-time job since being laid off, I did find some part-time work that I've enjoyed. I've had some fun playing Wordle with people all over the world. I've seen some of my former students go on to graduate school or find good jobs. The folks I love and care about the most are still in my life, and I value their friendship. My husband and I have been married for 38 years. The guy with autism that we've been helping to take care of is alive and well, and he has been in our lives for 41 years.   

The title of this blog post comes from a classic Pat Benatar song from 1981. "Hard to Believe" is about losing the one she loved, when she never expected that he would just leave her. It has two possible meanings: There's the literal one, that it's hard for her to believe he would leave her; and then, there's the other, that when something traumatic happens, it often become hard to believe-- hard to maintain our faith. I've still got mine, but at times this past year, it was certainly tested, along with my sense of humor. Still, hope springs eternal, and the new year is upon us, and maybe things will be better for us all. I certainly hope so. I'm certainly ready for it. And so, however your 2025 was, may your 2026 be even better. May it be a happy and healthy year, and a year when there's more good news than bad. Thanks for reading my blog in 2025, and I wish you the best of all possible new years! 💕    

Shining a Light in the Darkness

To say the least, this has been a difficult few days. At Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, a lone gunman burst in, killing 2 students and wounding nine before escaping; as I write this, he is still at large. Jewish worshipers who gathered on Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah were attacked by two men with guns, who killed 15 and wounded 24. And beloved actor and director Rob Reiner and his wife were brutally murdered in their home, allegedly by their own son. (And to make matters worse, Pres. Trump issued a long social media post that mocked and insulted Reiner, and basically blamed his death on the fact that he was a liberal Democrat and not a Trump supporter. By the way, it's not lost on me that when Charlie Kirk was murdered, my Republican friends insisted that nobody say a bad thing about him. Yet few are condemning the vile and insensitive comment by the president about Reiner, one of the most popular guys in the entertainment biz.) My point is, it was a week of violence and rage, when innocent people died needlessly.    

But it's Hanukkah, the festival of lights, and that's usually a reason for celebration. Of course, as I've said in previous years, I still find it somewhat problematic (although understandable, given the culture we're living in) to see Hanukkah, which used to be a minor festival that was mainly for the kids, suddenly getting elevated into something like Christmas-- with parties, lots of gifts, and elaborate decorations. Don't get me wrong-- I like Hanukkah. I've always found the lights of the menorah very beautiful, I'm always happy to eat potato latkes (and those big jelly donuts are good too!), and the holiday's story of how the Jews stood up for their freedom of worship is inspiring. Hanukkah reminds us that light (representing wisdom and tolerance) can overcome darkness (representing bigotry and hatred). I just hate to see it turned into yet another opportunity for endless consumerism. Anyway, as we do every year, my husband and I lit our menorah (placed by the window so that the candles can be seen from the street) and said our prayers. But once again, we had to keep in mind that in so many places, antisemitism is on the rise; and while we were safe and able to observe our holiday, in some places, people are not as fortunate.

And there's something else on my mind: As I write this, tomorrow I will be 11 years cancer-free. Each year, I marvel at the fact that I'm one of the survivors. I shouldn't be, given all the women on my mother's side of the family (including my mother and grandmother) who did not survive. Yet, somehow, I did. And when I think about that, I am profoundly grateful for the doctors who saved my life, and for the advances in medical science that made my survival possible. And even on my worst day (and I've had a few), I'm grateful to be alive. I only wish we lived in a time when kindness was the dominant emotion. Sad to say, as events around the world keep showing, hatred and cruelty are all around us. But if I'm being honest, I have to admit that there are still some compassionate and caring people. There are still some people who choose love over hate.

I try to be one of them, but it's not always easy. There are times when current events are so depressing that I find myself wondering if things will ever get better. But then, I remind myself that I must be alive for a reason: if I want to do my part to bring about some positive change, getting discouraged isn't useful. As a Jew, I'm motivated by the commandment about doing a mitzvah, about repairing the world. And so, here I am, still alive and still eager to make a difference. And my invitation to you in this holiday season, whatever you believe, is to shine your light wherever you can. Reject the negativity and reject the cruelty that is far too common. Make a promise to be kind, to reach out to those in need, and above all, to refuse to give in to despair. That may not seem like much, in the face of all the problems we have, but it's a start. And it's important. After all, we can always use more kindness in this world, and we can always use more joy. I wish you a happy and joyful holiday! 💕