Living in a YOYO World

[Note: part of this post was written before the president decided unilaterally to bomb Iran. But as you will see, in some ways, it makes my point.] 

As many of you know, I turned 79 on Valentine's Day. There are lots of stereotypes about women and aging, and for far too long, we were all told to lie about our age. I'm not going to do that. I'm 79, and it's okay. I'm happy to be alive. I'm still working, and I'm happy about that too. I continue to be a professor; and I love it because every day, I learn something new, or I learn that something I've long observed actually has a name. For example, this semester, I'm teaching a class in Organizational Communication, and the textbook talks about how we used to be in a WATT ("we're all in this together") culture; but these days, we're in a YOYO ("you're on your own") culture. The authors described the WATT culture as a time when employers provided not just a salary but medical and dental benefits to their employees; companies had local roots, and working in a place for a long time was the norm (my father worked for the same company for more than four decades, and he was not the only one). Back then, the government provided a social safety net, and those who needed assistance were able to get it. 

And then, led by Ronald Reagan and others, we moved into a culture where self-sufficiency was held up as the ideal. Employers reduced benefits or eliminated them entirely; many companies, which were now part of multinational conglomerates, preferred hiring workers as independent contractors. Even universities had a small group of full-time professors and everyone else was a lower-paid "adjunct" with no job security at all. More and more workers found themselves frequently changing jobs, or turning to gig work and side-hustles to make ends meet. And the government began slashing the social safety net-- and often demonizing the people who needed it. Cable news and social media made it easier and faster to rail against folks you didn't even know. And there was the constant messaging that anyone could succeed if they really wanted to. See those billionaires? They just worked harder and that's why they did so well. And if you were poor, it must be your own fault-- you were probably too lazy, or you had a bad attitude, or something. In a YOYO world, success or failure were all in your hands. 

A relentless 45-year campaign of elevating -- and making excuses for -- those who were rich while blaming society's problems on various disfavored groups (the poor, immigrants, women, minorities, people with disabilities, etc.) was quite successful. These days, we can see our government engaged in numerous acts of performative cruelty, and a percentage of the voting public thinks this is just fine, because it's directed at certain groups they've been taught to dislike or distrust. We can also see folks on social media lashing out at anyone who has a viewpoint they disagree with (several days ago, someone online called me a liar and a fraud... someone who has never met me but didn't like something I had posted during a chat about Rush's upcoming tour. It doesn't have to be about politics-- anything can quickly becoming a hot button issue and a reason for outrage). Being online as much as we are seems to have left some of us disconnected from how to talk to people in real life. 

When I was growing up, people didn't talk this way to each other. There was an expectation of courtesy. There were norms that encouraged people to talk to each other in a civil manner. Of course, it wasn't perfect. There were plenty of bigots and bullies. But as a culture, politeness was valued, and so was the ability to collaborate. There were many opportunities for people from different backgrounds to work together. In addition to work, we were members of volunteer organizations, civic groups, sisterhoods and brotherhoods at churches and temples. Like it or not, we had to get along with each other, and we learned from a young age that what each of us did, how each of us acted, would affect the other people in our lives. But in a YOYO system of things, you are only responsible for yourself, and there's no collective "we." Each of us is an island. Each of us is trying to overcome the obstacles. But none of us need to feel responsible for anyone else-- they're on their own too.  

So, the president decided to bomb Iran. I will leave it to you to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But he did it in typical YOYO fashion. Unlike in past generations, he wasn't at the White House-- he was at his private club in Mar-a-Lago. He didn't try to build consensus, not even with the voters to whom he had pledged he wouldn't get involved in foreign wars. He didn't discuss it with congress (according to the constitution, only congress can declare war). He didn't discuss it with NATO (he doesn't like NATO, nor does he like consulting with our allies). He may have talked to his close-knit circle of supporters, who tend to agree with him whatever he says, but he announced it to the public only after it had happened. And then... he went to a fundraiser. If he thought about how his actions might affect us, or how it might affect our allies, he never said a word. 

I have to admit there are times when I miss the WATT culture-- when we all felt a sense of responsibility to each other-- the times when we shared the same experiences, and fought together for the causes we believed in. And one thing that most of us believed in was our democracy. We believed it was worth defending and preserving, and that as a society, we really were all in this together. I hope we can get back to that sense of shared purpose, because we shouldn't all feel that we are on our own. There are times we really do need each other... and now may indeed be one of those times.